True Life: I Was A Sailor Soldier
by Bun-chan
Summary: The Sailor Soldiers and friends tell how it was to be a Sailor Soldier in the past. Explanations from the magical pen to rose petals. Warning! Cheesy humor rests inside! Anime based. **OLD**
1. Part One - Sailor Moon

Author's Notes: The idea came to me one night when I was chatting with one of my friends about where the Sailor introduction music comes from. ^^ The actions I use are listed below so you don't get confused and hopefully this wont come out as corny as I think it will...Remember! This is to be treated as a TV show! This is interlay fiction! And I don't own anything! ...but a few small countries...and a lemonade stand... *Update* Here is the new..longer..stupider..revision! TA DA! =D  
  
* * = Action  
( ) = From the background/out of picture  
~ ~ = writing on the screen  
[ ] = A clip/flashback  
{ } = surroundings  
----^^---- = Scene break  
  
True Life: I Was A Sailor Soldier  
  
Part One - Sailor Moon  
  
Interviewer: *gestures to various areas of Crystal Tokyo* A bright sunrise glows through the towers of the Crystal Palace spreading over 30th Century Crystal Tokyo. *pink haired girl falls behind him and wails* A perfectly beautiful and quiet place that the Neo Queen rules so well.  
  
----^^----  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: {sitting in a parlor rubbing her eyes} Mmm...I didn't expect you to be coming so early... *pushes flopped odango back* ~Neo Queen Serenity - Sailor Moon~ No, being a queen isn't easy. *laughs*  
  
[Neo Queen Serenity: Oh...this is hard work... *eats lemon pie*]  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: It's full of responsibility and hard tasks but I think I'm doing all right. (Grumbling heard from a black cat passing behind the camera) Oh don't pay any attention to her; she's just an old bag of fur waiting for her tuna everyday. *scowls* (pink haired girl runs behind Neo Queen Serenity knocking her over) SMALL LADY! *chases girl*  
  
----^^----  
  
Luna: ~Luna - Guardian~ The Queen as Sailor Moon? {sitting on the parlor table} She was known as Usagi-chan then. (Neo Queen Serenity fighting with pink haired girl) *sighs* Not much has changed since then...just more hair up there... (Neo Queen Serenity walks up from behind)  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: Why you... *camera cuts off*  
  
----^^----  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: Back then, I was a good soldier. I fought well before I met up with the others. *adjusts falling crown*  
  
Interviewer: Were you ever scared?  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: No, never.  
  
[Sailor Moon: MAMA! I'M SORRY I ALWAYS ATE ALL THE PIE! *wails*  
  
Monster: *sighs* This is really degrading...]  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: Well...maybe once in a while...  
  
Pink Haired Girl: Hey! I'm Sailor Moon! You should be interviewing me!  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: Small Lady! They want to talk to the once great and all-powerful Sailor Moon. *smiles in triumph*  
  
Small Lady: Yeah..."once" is the right word...  
  
----^^----  
  
Sailor Mars: ~Rei Hino - Sailor Mars~ (Neo Queen Serenity and Small Lady fighting once again) Ah...Usagi-chan...she was a very special girl. She wasn't the best fighter; scared most of the time while I saved her ass; but she pulled through when we needed her...like when the rest of us were hurt...  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: *pops up from behind* Rei-chan...  
  
Sailor Mars: Oh...hello there your Majesty...  
  
----^^----  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: *sitting again* Oh, you've heard about the pen? Yes...that pen was a truly a splendid gift...and Luna just thought I was tired because I fought so much... *embarrassed giggle*  
  
Luna: *hops onto the table* Usagi-chan....  
  
King Endymoin: *peers at Neo Queen Serenity* Serenity...  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: *bright red* Oh...Luna...Endymoin...hi... *waves*  
  
----^^----  
  
Shingo: ~Shingo - Neo Queen Serenity's Brother~ Usagi was always getting into some kind of trouble. (Neo Queen Serenity, Endymoin, and Luna fighting in the background)  
  
Interviewer: I heard that you had a crush on Sailor Moon...meaning...you had a crush on your sister.  
  
Shingo: *panics* What? No! I mean! I'veNEVERhadacrushonSAILORMOON...umm... *slinks out of the picture*  
  
Interviewer: What about Sailor Mercury?  
  
Shingo: *pops back up* AMI! WHERE? *faces camera* Oh...uh... *clears throat* Me and Ami have never been more then friends...I've always felt that way... *puffs chest*  
  
Sailor Mercury: ~Aim Mizuno - Sailor Mercury~ Oh...hello Shingo-kun, do you know where the Queen is?  
  
Shingo: *dreamy look* Ahh.....  
  
----^^----  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: *sitting again* Did I ever lose the crystal? Well...um.... *looks around* Maybe a few times...I found this plastic look a like *holds up look a like* that I used as a replacement anytime I couldn't find the real one...to fool Luna...  
  
Luna: I was wondering why the crystal didn't emit any power of certain days...  
  
Interviewer: What about monsters waiting for you to attack?  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: Ah...the monsters waiting for me to attack *ignores Luna*...well...you see...my theory is that the monsters, since most of them are girls, were gay and they were mesmerized by my mini skirt flipping around. Either that or the pretty lights, it gets the idiots every time.  
  
[Eternal Sailor Moon: *holding Eternal Tier* Ooo...look at the pretty lights... *lights bounce out of the Eternal Tier*  
  
Monster: *comes closer to the tier* Ooo... *stares with Eternal Sailor Moon*]  
  
Interviewer: Why didn't people recognize you out of your fuku?  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: *chuckles, waves hand* I have no idea since I'm a natural beauty. Everyone always said how pretty Sailor Moon was, I'm shocked they didn't link it to me right away.  
  
[Sailor Moon: *waves to the citizens and jumps away*  
  
Citizens: Sailor Moon...she looks like Tsukino Usagi...that weird looking girl-  
  
Luna: *takes out pen and presses a button while holding up a super model poster*  
  
Pen: *flashes*  
  
Citizens: Oh...that Sailor Moon is so pretty!  
  
Luna: *snickers*]  
  
Interviewer: Where did you hide your weapons?  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: Well, if you look closely, you can see Luna carrying my wand in her mouth. Other times I hid them in my hair. *pats head* In reality, my head is smaller then you think. *stops* That didn't sound right...  
  
Interviewer: Speaking of your hair...and since you have so much of it, how do you keep your hairstyle like that without giving you a headache?  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: Well... *thinks*  
  
Luna: Because theres nothing up there to ache. *glares at Neo Queen Serenity*  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: Luna! If this is about the plastic crystal...  
  
Luna: Of course its about the plastic crystal! Do you KNOW how many bad things could have happend because you lost your crystal?!?! *snarls*  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: But Luna! Nothing bad happend! *argument begins*  
  
----^^----  
  
Interviewer: What do you think about the Queen always fighting?  
  
Artemis: Well... ~Artemis - Guardian~ Um.... *looks back to see Neo Queen Serenity glaring at him* Er..I think of nothing! Nothing at all!  
  
----^^----  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: *sitting* Sorry about that. *smiles*  
  
Interviewer: Did those wigs on your last fuku give you any trouble?  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: Only when I was riding on the back of Haruka's motorcycle. See...we were driving to her place because I was "injured" and the wind pushed against my wings and sent me flying backwards. Well, then I was *really* injured.  
  
King Endymoin: Serenity...whats this about you being "injured"?  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: *cough* Nothing dear!  
  
----^^----  
  
Sailor Uranus: ~Haruka Tenou - Sailor Uranus~ The Queen as Usagi-chan? She was a very cute odango... *sighs*  
  
Sailor Neptune: ~Michiru Kaio - Sailor Neptune~ Haruka....  
  
Sailor Uranus: Oh! Hello there Michiru! *nervous laughter* Done with your violin practice already?  
  
----^^----  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: Well, it was a pleasure having you here. *Uranus is dragged off by Neptune* I hope you have enough for you segment.  
  
Interviewer: Well, I'm interviewing everyone...  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: *twitch* Oh...well...then....go right ahead and continue...  
  
Interviewer: Thanks. *gets up and leaves with camera man*  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: *sits in the parlor twitching*  
  
----^^----  
  
Coming Up: Part Two - Tuxedo Mask 


	2. Part Two - Tuxedo Mask

Author's Notes: Welcome to part two! I hope this story comes out funnier then I think it is. ^^;; Woo...lava lamp... *cough* Anyway, the normal disclaimer here, you guys all know and love it. If I really did own Sailor Moon I'd have enough money to place a hot dog stand next to my lemonade stand...hmmm... D If you read the first part before it was revised, go read it again!  
  
* * = Action  
( ) = Background  
[ ] = Clip/flashback  
{ } = Setting  
~ ~ = Text on Screen  
----^^---- = Scene Break  
  
True Life: I Was A Sailor Soldier  
  
Part Two: Tuxedo Mask  
  
Interviewer: Since we left Neo Queen Serenity...twitching...in the parlor, we've joined King Endymoin out in his rose garden. *camera pans to King Endymoin playing with a fire truck toy*  
  
King Endymoin: ~King Endymoin - Tuxedo Mask~ Optomis Prime! Transform! *various clicking noises heard from fire truck*  
  
Interviewer: Um...King...Endymoin....?  
  
King Endymoin: Yes? *sees camera* OH! *flings toys behind him* Yes? *cough*  
  
Interviewer: Yes...ah...We're here to find out about your life as a Sailor Soldier... *numbly stares at the King*  
  
King Endymoin: Well...I wasn't exactly a Sailor Soldier...  
  
Interviewer: Oh. *blink* So...what were you?  
  
King Endymoin: Tuxedo Mask.  
  
Interviewer: Oh.  
  
King Endymoin: Yeah. *silence*  
  
Interviewer: So...  
  
King Endymoin: Yes?  
  
Interviewer: I've got to be going... *gets up*  
  
King Endymoin: WAIT! I was a...Sailor...Soldier... *chokes*  
  
Interviewer: Really? Do tell!  
  
King Endymoin: Well, you see... *gulp*  
  
Interviewer: Yes?  
  
King Endymoin: A Sailor Soldier is technically a guardian...with a crystal...  
  
Interviewer: Yes, I know that.  
  
King Endymoin: I have a crystal.  
  
Interviewer: For which planet?  
  
King Endymoin: *blink* Excuse me? Did you just ask me "which planet"?  
  
Interviewer: Yes.  
  
King Endymoin. *steams* Earth.  
  
Interviewer: Oh...I see...you're Sailor Earth.  
  
King Endymoin: No, I'm Tuxedo Mask.  
  
Interviewer: But you protect Earth...  
  
King Endymoin: But I also hold powers related to the sun. ::Bun-chan: This is why everyone should read my other series because it explains how Mamoru has powers of Earth and the Sun. =D Sure...it wont actually explain it till the sequal to the story thats being posted but...um...go read it anyway!::  
  
Interviewer: How is that for shameless self promotion?  
  
Bun-chan: Shut up you! I'm not paying you for being a snot to me!  
  
King Endymoin: It all started when my parents died in a car crash when I was six... *babbles*  
  
Interviewer: That's really peachy there, King. But I must go interview Sailor Soldiers, hence the title of this documentry, "True Life - I Was A Sailor Soldier".  
  
King Endymoin: But! But! I have a horse!  
  
Interviewer: So?  
  
King Endymoin: A flying horse!  
  
Interviewer: So?  
  
King Endymoin: Um...I make love to a flying horse!  
  
[Bun-chan: Due to the graphic scenes in this clip, it will not be shown. I'd like to keep this a PG rating. *bows* Thank you.]  
  
Interviewer: *falls over* You make love to a flying horse?  
  
King Endymoin: Um...yeah... *squeaks* Well..the human version anyways...  
  
[Bun-chan: Also due to the graphical scenes in this clip, it will not be shown. *hears people yelling for yaoi* Go read a freaking yaoi fic then!]  
  
Interviewer: Human version?  
  
King Endymoin: ELIOS! *fumbles*  
  
Elios: ~Elios - High Priest of Elysion~ Yes Endymoin? Er...King?  
  
Interviewer: *blink* I may have to changed the name of this documentry...  
  
Small Lady: Elios! *runs out of the palace*  
  
Elios: Ah! Maiden! *blushes*  
  
[Bun-chan: Due to the graphical...normal...scenes in this clip, it wont be shown. *pushes hentai fans out of the room* IF YOU WANT HENTAI GO READ A HENTAI FIC!]  
  
Small Lady: Elios! *hugs Elios*  
  
King Endymoin: I think we should end this here.  
  
Interviewer: But its getting so intersting! *visions of Opra dance through his head*  
  
King Endymoin: *picks up Interviewer* It. Ends. Here.  
  
Interviewer: Okay! Okay! IT ENDS! *camera cuts off*  
  
----^^----  
  
Coming Up: Part Three - Sailor Chibi Moon 


	3. Part Three - Sailor Chibi Moon

Author's Notes: Woosh...third part...I think I'm just writing this for the sake of doing something. It's entertaining to me anyway. ^^ All your normal disclaimers here and please nobody sue me! I only have enough money to by lunch at school everyday! ;_;  
  
* * = Action  
  
( ) = Background  
  
[ ] = Clip/flashback  
  
{ } = Setting  
  
~ ~ = Text on Screen  
  
----^^---- = Scene Break  
  
True Life: I Was A Sailor Soldier  
  
Part Three - Sailor Chibi Moon  
  
{King Endymoin and Elios had left the Rose Garden immediately after the camera had been shut off, the King muttering about having a talk. Small Lady is now sitting in the gazebo waiting to be interviewed.}  
  
Interviewer: Thank you Small Lady for deciding to join us on such short notice.  
  
Small Lady: ~Princess Lady Serenity - Sailor Chibi Moon~ It's Usagi or Lady. *huffs*  
  
Interviewer: But your mother was called Usagi...isn't it weird to be called the same thing your mother was called?  
  
Lady: Well...yes...but... *fidgets*  
  
Interviewer: I understand you went back and met the past Queen, how did you guys keep from getting mixed up then?  
  
Lady. *pause* I was called Chibi Usa then.  
  
Interviewer: Why not Chibi Usa now?  
  
Lady: *grimaces* Do I look "chibi" to you?  
  
Interviewer: Well...ah...you look like a girl who had her head stuck in a cotton candy machine... *sees Small Lady clutch chair* Very lovely hair though! *nervous laughter*  
  
Lady: *releases chair* "Chibi" means "small". And I'm not small. I'm a l-a- d-y. *puffs chest*  
  
Interviewer: *stares at chest* Then why does the Queen call you "Small" Lady?  
  
Lady: *fumes* Call me *Usa* and lets get on with it!  
  
Interviewer: Alright...Usa... *cough* I've heard you were a very useless soldier.  
  
Usa: *twitch* Where did you hear that?  
  
Interviewer: From these four girls, they said they're very close to you. They had these weird circus hair do's. They've even seen you try to do your weak attack- which was sugar right?  
  
Usa: *grumbles* I was NOT useless! I was just...in training! All soldiers had to go through training!  
  
Interviewer: But your mother's first attack involved a high voltage tiara and yours was...sugar...  
  
Usa: ENOUGH WITH THE SUGAR!  
  
Interviewer: But I heard it was very good in tea...  
  
Usa: YOU WANT SUGAR? I'LL GIVE YOU SUGAR! *jumps up* CRISI MOON, MAKE UP! *transforms into Super Sailor Chibi Moon*  
  
Interviewer: EEP! *jumps behind chair*  
  
Sailor Chibi Moon: *advances on the Interviewer* You're going to get your sugar now! *takes out Crystal Carillon* PINK SUGAR! *spins around*  
  
Interviewer: *runs off with the camera man*  
  
Sailor Chibi Moon: *runs after them* HEART ATTACK! *blasts sugar hearts at the running men*  
  
----^^----  
  
Thirty Minutes Later...  
  
----^^----  
  
Interviewer: *hiding behind a bush* It seems that we are being hunted by a strange exotic creature- better know as the weak, powerless, sugar flinging, cotton candy head monster aka Sailor Chibi Moon. *looks around* It seems that the monster is very poor at tracking because we've been sitting here for over twenty minutes-  
  
Sailor Chibi Moon: AAH!! THERE YOU ARE! PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK!  
  
Interviewer: *runs off with camera man again* CRIKEY! SHE FOUND US! *keeps yelling "crikey" while running down a hill*  
  
Sailor Chibi Moon: GET BACK HERE!  
  
Interviewer: AHHH! *falls down a hill* CRIIIIIIIIIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY!!!!  
  
----^^----  
  
An hour later...  
  
----^^----  
  
Reporter: *standing at the bottom of the hill* Hi, this is Sharon Mutchuck for Channel 25 news. It seems that an hour ago a man had fell down a hill at the Crystal Palace grounds. The man lays in bad condition as EMT's continue to try and get him back up the hill to the waiting ambulances.  
  
*camera pans to the EMT workers carrying the Interviewer up the hill.*  
  
Reporter: *watches* It seems that the 32nd time is a charm.  
  
Interviewer: *slids off the holding board and falls down the hill* CRIKEY!  
  
Reporter: ...maybe not... *turns back to the camera* None of the authorities is sure how this had happened. Maybe the man got lost and didn't see the decline of this steep hill. Or maybe a crazed dog was chasing him. All that is certain is that the man was pelted with pink sugar as he laid helplessly in pain.  
  
*Reporter touches ear*  
  
Reporter: This just in! Shocking new evidence on how this story happened from a Camera Man following the hurt man.  
  
[Camera Man: *picture fuzzy* BOSS! WAIT UP! I CAN'T RUN WITH THIS THING!  
  
Interviewer: THEN SET IT DOWN! A CAMERA ISN'T WORTH OUR LIVES!  
  
Camera Man: *sets camera down*  
  
Camera: Two men keep running down the hill. Pink haired girl comes into view.  
  
Chibi Moon: GET BACK HER! *still sending out steady streams of sugar*  
  
*crack is heard*  
  
Interviewer: AHH! *drops from view of the camera*  
  
Camera Man: Uh...boss? *pokes Interviewer*  
  
Chibi Moon: YOU'RE MINE!! *cackles*  
  
Camera: AHH! *runs away*  
  
Interviewer: BOB! COME BACK! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE! *cries*  
  
Chibi Moon: *looms over Interviewer* PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK!  
  
Interviewer: *pelted with sugar hearts* AHH! IT STINGS!]  
  
Reporter: And there you have it! The man was running away from the crazed Princess Lady Serenity. If I were the Neo Queen, I'd get her daughter some help before she hits the rest of us with sugar. Back to you Dave! *camera cuts off*  
  
----^^----  
  
{Inside a news studio}  
  
Dave: How disturbing! To know our own Princess caused such a horrible act!  
  
Rachel: Oh I know! I'm scared for my children.  
  
Dave: Let's turn back to Sharon and see how things are doing.  
  
Camera: *cuts to Reporter covered in pink sugar*  
  
Rachel: OH MY GOD!  
  
Chibi Moon: *barges in* YOU'RE NEXT YOU IDIOTS WHO'VE MADE ME LOOK BAD! I'VE HEARD EVEYWORD YOU'VE SAID ABOUT ME! I AM THE QUEEN'S DAUGHTER! I AM A MOON PRINCESS! *charges* I HAVE GROWN UP! *puffs chest* PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK!  
  
Everyone: *stares at chest* AHH! PINK SUGAR!! *runs around chaotically*  
  
----^^----  
  
Serenity: *watching TV* So funny! *laughs*  
  
Sailor Mars: *sits down next to Serenity* Turn to the news.  
  
Serenity: Rei-chan! I'm watching something! *little animated characters bonk each other*  
  
Sailor Mars: I thought you would have grown up by now Serenity!  
  
Serenity: *pouts* I AM grown up! *turns to the news*  
  
*the two women see Chibi Moon splattering pink sugar all over*  
  
Serenity: ENDYMOIN! *runs out of the room* YOU HAVE A PROBLEM TO DEAL WITH!  
  
----^^----  
  
Coming Up: Part Four - Sailor Venus 


	4. Part Four - Sailor Venus

Author's Note: I'm not sure how I'm going to top Chibi Usa's lame sugar attack but, alas, I'll try my best. ^^;; (rest assured, I know Chibi Usa's lame sugar attack was pretty bad. Not even including the crocodile hunter gags) All your normal disclaimers here...I don't see how anyone would want to claim this as their own... *sets up hotdog stand next to lemonade stand*  
  
* * = Action  
  
( ) = Background  
  
[ ] = Clip/flashback  
  
{ } = Setting  
  
~ ~ = Text on Screen  
  
----^^---- = Scene Break  
  
True Life: I Was A Sailor Soldier  
  
Part Four - Sailor Venus  
  
{Another shot of Crystal Tokyo before panning to the Interviewer sitting on a beach towel next to Minako Aino next to the pool under a heating lamp. Buckets, shovels, and sand have been poured around the spot the two sit while a large beach ball is wedged between Minako's body and arm as she tries to look sexy.}  
  
Interviewer: *narrating* After a...long...recovery...True Life: I Was A Sailor Soldier is now back into shooting; along with a NEW camera man.  
  
(Minako: Ahem...)  
  
Interviewer: Anyway, we are here with Miss Minako Aino, better known as Sailor Venus.  
  
Minako: ~Minako Aino - Sailor Venus~ Hello there! *waves* I'm ready for my close up Mr. Interviewer!  
  
Interviewer: Uh...I'm glad you are...  
  
Minako: And I wore the most trendy thing just for this HOT occasion! *strips to reveal an orange bathing suit*  
  
Interviewer: AHH! BLINDED! X.X  
  
Minako: *snarls* What do you mean "blinded"? I'M THE GODDESS OF LOVE AND BEAUTY DAMMIT! All men flock to take a look at my lovely body! *winks*  
  
Sheep: *flock in* Baaa! ~Venus!~  
  
Minako: *steams* Not SHEEP, MEN.  
  
Sheep: *storm out* BAAAAAAAAAA!! ~WE'RE GOING TO SEE REI!~  
  
Minako: *huffs* Fine! Not like sheep know true beauty when it poses in front of them. *poses*  
  
Men: *run in* We heard Rei is here!  
  
Minako: *pulls hair* REI-CHAN ISN'T HERE! *hops between the men* But there is little old me. *wink*  
  
Men: Uh...We've got to...uh…mow the lawn...uh... *run off*  
  
Minako: *curses* Obviously those men are BLIND. *sits back down*  
  
Interviewer: Um...could we get on with it?  
  
Minako: *puffs* Alright. *tries to cross legs seductively* Continue.  
  
Interviewer: *sighs* Tell me, since you are the Goddess of Love and Beauty, why is Rei prettier then you?  
  
Minako: *twitch* Say what? *twitch*  
  
Interviewer: I mean, Rei has this beautiful long black hair and gorgeous violet eyes... *sighs*  
  
Minako: *twitch*  
  
Interviewer: And you, no offense, but you are just a typical blue eyed blonde.  
  
Minako: *grips chair* But Rei-chan has a temper while I DO NOT.  
  
Interviewer: *gulps*  
  
Minako: *breaths fire*  
  
Interviewer: Well...I was just wondering...and I'm sure the public is wondering...it was the number one rated question in our polls...  
  
Minako: *twitch* It was?  
  
Interviewer: *nod*  
  
Minako: *falls*  
  
Camera Man: Hey boss? Haven't you learned *not* to anger girls?  
  
Interviewer: Well...the truth hurts.  
  
Minako: VENUS CRYSTAL POWER, MAKE UP!  
  
Interviewer: Oh god... *runs*  
  
----^^----  
  
Reporter: *standing in palace gym* Hi, this is Sharon Mutchuck for Channel 25 news. It seems that another brutal attack has happened at the palace. It has only been a mere fifteen days since the last attack. However, It wasn't the princess this time.  
  
[Usa: *sitting in cell* I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!! PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK! *hearts bounce off wall and hit Usa*  
  
Usa: *falls over*]  
  
Reporter: Although, this attack involves the same victim who they are now trying to get down from the ceiling of the palace gym. *walks inside the gym*  
  
Interviewer: *sobs* GET ME DOWN!  
  
Reporter: When the police first arrived, from receiving calls of local disturbance, they found Sailor Venus, leader of Neo Queen Serenity's guardians smacking volleyballs across the set up net trying to hit the poor man. It seems the camera has also picked this up.  
  
[Camera Footage:  
  
Sailor Venus: HAHA! *smacks ball*  
  
Interviewer: *hit with ball* ROB! DO SOMETHING!  
  
Camera Man: Now boss, you told me to never to do anything but film.  
  
Sailor Venus: BWAHAHA! *hits another ball*  
  
Interviewer: *knocked back* FORGET WHAT I TOLD YOU!  
  
Camera Man: But boss...  
  
Interviewer: I MEAN IT! *smacked with another ball*  
  
Camera Man: Oh, alright... *sets camera down*  
  
Sailor Venus: HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEE *knocks camera out of view*]  
  
Reporter: We are unsure of why Sailor Venus became so hostile but we are aware that the police are after her, DO NOT PANIC. The authorities are still unsure of where Rob the camera man was hidden.  
  
Interviewer: JUT GET ME DOWN! *love chain short-circuits* o_____o AHHHHHHH!  
  
*SMACK*  
  
Reporter: Back to you!  
  
----^^----  
  
John: It seems that Crystal Tokyo is becoming more unsafe every month. We know have word that the police have found Sailor Venus. The chase is on!  
  
----^^----  
  
[Police Camera:  
  
Sailor Venus: VENUS LOVE ME CHAIN! *swinging like Spider Man*  
  
Police: *in helicopter* Please come down with your hands up!  
  
Sailor Venus: NEVER!! *swings off*  
  
Police: AFTER HER!  
  
Sailor Venus: YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME!!! AHAHAAAA!! I AM SUPER MAN!! *lets go of chain*  
  
Police: *watch*  
  
Sailor Venus: AHHAHAAA!! *falls*  
  
*SMACK*  
  
Police: Well...that's one way to stop...  
  
Sailor Venus: *lands in the street*  
  
----^^----  
  
Police Officer: Perhaps you two can keep each other company. *throws Venus in with Chibi Moon*  
  
Sailor Venus: *crouches in corner* I am prettier then Rei...I am prettier then Rei...  
  
Chibi Moon: You just keep telling yourself that.... *fires pink sugar at herself*  
  
Sailor Venus: *grumbles* I know what you hide under your Sailor Suit...  
  
Chibi Moon: *fires pink sugar at Venus*  
  
----^^----  
  
Coming Up: Part Five - Sailor Chibi Chibi Moon 


	5. Part Five - Sailor Chibi Chibi Moon

Author's Notes: Eheee...Part Five! Woosh! I really didn't think I'd get this far. ^^ Your normal disclaimer here and I'm pleased everyone enjoyed my Chibi Moon insanity. =D  
  
* * = Action  
( ) = Background  
[ ] = Clip/flashback  
{ } = Setting  
~ ~ = Text on Screen  
----^^---- = Scene Break  
  
True Life: I Was A Sailor Soldier  
  
Part Three - Sailor Chibi Chibi Moon  
  
{The Interviewer has returned once again to hopefully finish his documentry before another savage out break between the soldiers. For some unknown reason, he is now sitting in a large pinkish-red room surrounded with sweets. Sitting next to him propped up by pillows is Chibi Chibi who eagerly reaches for a piece of cake.}  
  
Interviewer: So Chibi Chibi, care to tell us about your life as a sailor soldier?  
  
Chibi Chibi: ~Chibi Chibi - Sailor Chibi Chibi Moon~ *stuffs cake in mouth* Chibi! *wiggles feet happily wearing a bunny pajama set*  
  
Interviewer: o_o;;; Um...you do know how to say more then "chibi" right?  
  
Chibi Chibi: You do know how to say more then "chibi" right? *giggles*  
  
Interviewer: *sighs* Apparently, you haven't aged since you were a soldier...  
  
Chibi Chibi: Haven't aged since you were a soldier...  
  
Interviewer: *groan* Let's go. *motions to camera man*  
  
Chibi Chibi: CHIBI! *throws hand up causing a big blast of pink light*  
  
Interviewer: *is hooked onto a huge umbrella* O______O *floats up to the ceiling*  
  
Chibi Chibi: Chibi! *hops up and down on pillows*  
  
Interviewer: GET ME DOWN!! *dangles off the umbrella*  
  
Chibi Chibi: GET ME DOWN!! *dangles off the chair*  
  
Interviewer: Go get an adult! *waves hand*  
  
Chibi Chibi: Go get an adult! *waves hand*  
  
Interviewer: *sighs*  
  
Chibi Chibi: *sighs*  
  
Interviewer: HELP ME!!! *thrashes*  
  
Chibi Chibi: HELP ME!! *thrashes*  
  
Interviewer: *umbrella vanishes* AHHHHHHH!! *falls face first on the floor*  
  
Chibi Chibi: *lets go of chair* AHHHHHHH!! *lands on her feet*  
  
Interviewer: *chokes* Heelpp...meeee....  
  
Chibi Chibi: *lays next to interviewer* Heelpp...meeee... *wiggles on the floor*  
  
Interviewer: *groans*  
  
  
----^^----  
  
Coming Up: Part Six - Sailor Mercury 


	6. Part Six - Sailor Mercury

Author's Notes: I'm back! Sorta...brief writer's block and I sort of struggled to get this chapter out...not a whole lot of funny things you can think of with Ami... ^^;;; Plus my friend has been yelling at me to write on my other story "Missing Planet". *sigh sigh*  
  
* * = Action  
  
( ) = Background  
  
[ ] = Clip/flashback  
  
{ } = Setting  
  
~ ~ = Text on Screen  
  
----^^---- = Scene Break  
  
True Life: I Was A Sailor Soldier  
  
Part Six - Sailor Mercury  
  
----^^----  
  
{Since the last interview, the Interviewer has been hospitalized. Of course, the show must go on and Ami Mizuno has kindly agreed to join for an interview in the hospital room.}  
  
Interviewer: Thank you for coming Miss Mizuno. 3.3 *propped up with pillows*  
  
Ami: ~Ami Mizuno - Sailor Mercury~ Thank you for having me. *smile*  
  
Interviewer: I hope it wasn't much of a problem for you to come here. 3.3  
  
Ami: No, not at all. I often come her as a substitute doctor so it wasn't out of the way.  
  
Interviewer: A doctor...how..sexy... 3.3  
  
Ami: Pardon? o.o  
  
Interviewer: N..n..nothing... *sputter* So..tell me about your water powers...  
  
Ami: Well...they are just that...water...  
  
Interviewer: Were you a strong soldier when you started out?  
  
Ami: No but I made up for it with my intellect. ^^  
  
Interviewer: I've always thought smart people were better then physique people...especially smart women...turn on... *dirty thoughts*  
  
Ami: Turn on what?  
  
Interviewer: Turn on what? Oh...ah...nothing! Er! *blush*  
  
Ami: o_o How much morphine have you taken today?  
  
Interviewer: What? Morphine? No...none...well...maybe a small dosage...  
  
Ami: Perhaps I should come back another time...  
  
Interviewer: No no! I'm fine! Really! It's just that...you...  
  
Ami: Me what?  
  
Interviewer: You... *blush*  
  
Shingo: ALRIGHT! STOP RIGHT THERE! *barges in*  
  
Ami and Interviewer: O___O  
  
Shingo: *jumps in front of Ami in protection stance* I know what you're after bucko!  
  
Interviewer: Excuse me?  
  
Ami: Shingo-kun...is there something wrong?  
  
Shingo: *points finger at Interviewer* HIM.  
  
Interviewer: *sweats* o___o  
  
Ami: Calm down Shingo-kun. Please explain your accusation.  
  
Shingo: Very simple Ami-chan, HE wants YOU. *glare*  
  
Interviewer: Hahaha...what a kidder... *more nervous laughter*  
  
Ami: What? *blush*  
  
Shingo: Don't laugh Interviewer! You know exactly what I mean! You want to get Ami-chan in bed with you-  
  
Ami: Shingo-kun! O____________O  
  
Interviewer: *sinks beneath bed sheets*  
  
Shingo: It's true! He wants to get in bed with you and do the-  
  
Ami: SHINGO-KUN!!! @_@  
  
Interviewer: x.x  
  
Shingo: I'm sorry you had to hear this Ami-chan. Perhaps it's best if you leave now.  
  
Ami: Perhaps... @_@  
  
Interviewer: *pops back up* No! Wait!  
  
Shingo: *leads Ami out of the hospital room* Don't you dare try that again! *glares*  
  
Interviewer: Oh...God... *slaps forehead and sinks back down*  
  
----^^----  
  
Coming Up: Part Seven - Sailor Mars 


	7. Part Seven - Sailor Mars

Author's Notes: So it took me…a while…a long while… Welp, I'm back from my creative drought but don't expect anything grand. I'm all angsty out from working on my other fics, which could always use some reviews. =D *hint hint* Not to be pushy…no…not at all…anyway, normal disclaimers apply.  
  
* * = Action  
( ) = From the background/out of picture  
~ ~ = writing on the screen  
[ ] = A clip/flashback  
{ } = setting  
----^^---- = Scene break  
  
True Life: I Was A Sailor Soldier  
  
Part Seven - Sailor Mars  
  
{Months after healing in the hospital and avoiding Ami Mizuno, the Interviewer has finally decided to come back and try to finish the rest of the series.}  
  
Interviewer: *twitch* Hello Miss Hino. *twitch*  
  
Rei: ~Rei Hino - Sailor Mars~ Hello Mr. Interviewer. o_O  
  
Interviewer: *looks around* Uhm…hum…is Shingo Tsukino around?  
  
Rei: No…but I can go get him if-  
  
Interviewer: NONONO! *cowers* That's alright…just making sure…  
  
Rei: Right…so…  
  
Interviewer: Is…uhm…Ami…around…?  
  
Rei: No, do you want me to go get her? ¬¬…  
  
Interviewer: NO! *jumps behind chair* Everything is…okay…no Shingo…no Ami…  
  
Rei: *steams* Would you get on with it already? I don't exactly have the time to waste on a blubbering Interviewer who is scared of the Queen's younger brother.  
  
Interviewer: Me? Scared? Never! *stumbles* So…Rei…  
  
Rei: Yes. ¬¬  
  
Interviewer: *sits down* So, how's Yuuichirou?  
  
Rei: Pardon? O_O  
  
Interviewer: You know…that guy that is living with you…  
  
Rei: O__O EXCUSE ME?  
  
Interviewer: *inches back* The brown haired guy-  
  
Rei: O____O WHAT?  
  
Interviewer: *flops over* I DIDN'T DO IT!  
  
Rei: WHO TOLD YOU THAT YUUICHIROU AND I ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER? *flames*  
  
Serenity: *pops out from behind bush* I KNEW IT!  
  
Rei: Serenity! @_@  
  
Serenity: REI-CHAN! *stomps over* WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?  
  
Rei: Tell you what?  
  
Serenity: O_O WHAT YOU JUST SAID!  
  
Rei: I didn't say anything! =P  
  
Interviewer: *peeps up from behind chair* I believe the Queen is referring to you sleeping with Yuu-  
  
Rei: WHY YOU! *fumes*  
  
Serenity: XD Rei-chan… *snicker* You Pyro…  
  
Rei: Serenity! It's nothing like that! *fumbles*  
  
Yuuichirou: *walks out in spandex play suit* ~Yuuichirou Kumada - Rei's Bed Partner~ Oh Rei… ^^  
  
Rei: O___________O *points to screen* WHA- WHA- WHAT IS THAT?!?!  
  
Serenity: What is what? *peers at Yuuichirou's title* It appears to say "Rei's Bed Partner".  
  
Rei: I KNOW WHAT IT SAYS!  
  
Yuuichirou: *looks down* Whoa! Cool! XD *poses in front of his title*  
  
Rei: NO NO NO! NOT COOL! *hair catches on fire*  
  
Serenity: Be careful Rei-chan…you may take Crystal Tokyo down with you…  
  
Rei: *screams*  
  
Yuuichirou: Don't worry Rei…I'll make it all better… *pet*  
  
Interviewer: The title never lies.  
  
Rei: *slumps over in a sooty heap*  
  
Yuuichirou: Yeah, you know how I like it…  
  
Rei: *glares*  
  
Interviewer: I didn't do it!  
  
Rei: WHO TOLD? WHO TOLD! *jumps up screaming*  
  
----^^----  
  
{Inside a padded walled room}  
  
Minako: *cackles* Mwah…when Rei finds out that her secret life with Yuuichirou is revealed…let alone everyone else finds out…all the men will love ME! ME! *bounces off wall*  
  
Minako's Imaginary Man: Right Minako love.  
  
Minako: Come here cutie! ________________ 


End file.
